Sweet, since that’s cleared up, allow me to get started. Recently a well-known local beer bar, Fermentation Lounge, hired a few brewers to brew on site. They formed what they deemed “Golden Horn Brewing Company” (whatever that means – my guess is the fantasy novel).
Holy. Shit.
You heard me right - A BREWERY IN TALLHASSEE! Finally! Praise Saint Arnold’s wolf!
Now I’m newish to Tallahassee, and I’m definitely no Tallahassee historian, but I gather that this is the first brewery opening since Buckhead closed down. It’s hard to find a ton of information about Buckhead, but a friend told me the doors closed in 2003 and thus Tallahassee has been without a brewery for approximately 8 years now. Also, one of Buckhead’s head brewers was none other than Wayne Wambles, head brewer at the now infamous Cigar City Brewing in Tampa, FL. While there, Wayne managed to pull in several medals, including some from the World Beer Cup and the Great American Beer Festival… stiff competition.
Anyway, I have been to the first two brewery releases and have plenty to say. Those of you that know me know that I’m an educator. One technique to soften the blow is to sandwich criticisms between positives. For instance:
“Awesome, Tommy! You can play a B-flat!”
“…but you can’t play anything else.”
“…and your clothes smell nice!”
Sometimes it’s tough.
I’ll start by saying that I love Fermentation Lounge. My first year in Tallahassee I lived within walking distance of the place and visited frequently (since I’ve moved across town, I still visit, but not as often). I know the bartenders, they know me, there are good beers on tap in a chill atmosphere, and life is good. Their owner Scott is one of the nicest guys I’ve met and he’s always willing to chat about beer or the business over a cool brew. I’ve also met a few of the brewers, one in particular, and they are all very nice, love beer, and seem to know what they’re doing, which is all a good sign.
I’m also thrilled that Fermentation took the step that has been needed in Tallahassee for years by opening a brewery. Fresh local beer is the bee’s knees and Tallahassee has been devoid of it for way too long. If you know me well you understand how much I love breweries and brewpubs and I was and still am excited beyond words about this venture.
As for the releases… so far, nothing special. Mistakes are allowed, and they’re still improving, but if you scroll back to the top of this page you’ll see the title “Tallahassee Beer Critic,” not “Tallahassee Beer Lover of All Things and Giver of Pats on the Back.”
I’ll begin with the first release, which was a giant travesty that still has me fuming when I think about it. For months they advertised that they were making two beers to serve on tap – a grapefruit saison and an amaretto porter. I was literally the first person there on the release date and when I told them I wanted a glass of each, I was told that the porter keg got shaken up and they weren’t serving it quite yet. Understandable… I guess? I later heard a worker saying that when they moved the kegs they had to lift them around a lot and the porter kegs got quite shaken so the beer was coming out foamy, filled with yeast, and bitter… awesome. A late blog post stated that the screw-up happened sometime during the kegging process... who knows?
So I slowly sip my grapefruit saison (rating) and wait. Still no porter. I order another craft beer on tap and wait… and wait… and wait. A craft beer buddy of mine shows up and we start waiting together. Eventually the beer is erased from their board and we are told they’re going to let it settle overnight – try again tomorrow! Hurray.
Fast forward to the next day and I’m sitting in the bar right at opening waiting for my amaretto porter. The bartender has no idea what’s going on and no brewers are around to say anything so I sit sipping a brew and playing Angry Birds, really starting to understand the birds’ pain. I want this beer even more than they want to kill those pigs. One man’s golden egg is another man’s brown brew, I suppose.
Eventually a couple of brewers show up, they taste the beer, promptly remove the kegs, and leave… with hardly a word. The porter is gone. No dice, no beer, nothing. I sit more disappointed than Casey Anthony’s prosecutors. Later on their Facebook page they kindly explained that they were not happy with the product and they will never serve something that they’re not happy with. That’s perfectly respectable, but let’s go back a minute.
Don’t mess up your kegs! I understand that they have a small cooler and it’s hard to get around, but be careful. Or if it was the kegging process, figure it out! Also, how about you have the brewers or employees show up earlier to get things organized, settled, and ready to go. What’s that you say? The brewers all have full-time jobs and can’t show up when the bar opens to get things ready (which is also why I wasted over an hour the second day waiting to find out what was going on with the porter)? Well I’m not the first to say it, and I won’t be the last – that’s not my problem. If you’re going to keep having problems, maybe you should find someone else or find more dedicated brewers.
On a more positive note, the second release went off without a hitch, technically speaking. They served a golden lime beer (rating) and a hybrid brown ale (rating) that were… okay. One of the things that gets me about Ferm sometimes is their somewhat arrogant attitude about craft beer. They don’t serve macros, they scoff you if you ask for a beer that’s not good enough for them, and they make fun of other bars for serving macros and doing giveaways. So what did they do? They basically brewed a Corona-with-a-lime-in-it beer. Their claim for this brewery is that they’re going to be creative and brew wacky, original things. Well a golden ale with lime isn’t exactly the most creative thing in the world (yes, even with the honey). When I went back to Fermentation the next night, the lime beer was still on tap, which speaks for itself (more about batch size later).
As for the brown ale – they described it as being inspired by a night they mixed Old Speckled Hen and Hobgoblin. Well I’m going to come right out and say it – both of those beers are terrible, so why try to copy them? And why were you drinking them in the first place? However, the brown was the most successful of their ventures so far in my opinion. The next two brews set for release are a watermelon wheat and amaretto porter take 2… here’s hoping it all goes well.
Beyond the beers themselves, I have some more issues. The first, and screamingly most obvious, is batch size. They brew their beers in 10 and 20 gallon batches. So, if you want to try one of their new beers, you have to go that night to get it because it’s going to sell out (well, except that lime beer). You had better get there early too because the place was pretty busy at the first release and they blew the kegs in under 4 hours. Essentially they’re not a brewery or a brewpub at all – they’re a place that serves homebrew once every couple of weeks. Why?
Though it’s not as big of an issue, something else worth mentioning is cost. Currently they are charging $4 for a 10oz pour of their beers, and all three beers have been that price. A few things don’t make sense here. For one, why is it so damn expensive? I understand the 10oz pours so as to divvy up the small batches better (see above), but why the high cost? If I’m paying that much per ounce, it had better be the best bourbon barrel aged imperial stout I’ve ever had. Also, how are all of the batches costing exactly the same? Shouldn’t there be some sort of configured markup? How much money are they making on this stuff and who does it go to exactly?
Speaking of 10oz pours, herein lies another contradiction that just doesn’t fit with their “craft beer” attitude. No matter which of their haus beers (their term) you order, it’s served in a generic wine glass. The first release featured full size wine glasses and you were simply handed a half-empty glass. The second release featured tiny 10oz wine glasses. It’s a very minor complaint, as wine glasses can prove nice all-around glasses, but I’d be much happier with a glass that was more appropriate for the individual styles. And if you’re wondering, yes, you can get smaller versions of several glass styles.
Alright, I think I have settled all of my qualms… some more important than others, I suppose. The important thing to remember here is that Fermentation Lounge and Golden Horn Brewing Company are doing something, and I’m extremely happy for that. Though other places in town are apparently also going to get into brewing (Momo’s, among other rumors), it’s great that Ferm put a foot forward and took this step. Like I said, the staff, owners, and brewers are all great people, the beers aren’t terrible, and they’re helping promote craft beer in Tallahassee, which is about like promoting job hunting to a hobo with a methadone addiction and a missing arm. No matter what they do, I will always be the first one in the door with a thirsty palate and an open ear.
Cheers to fresh local beer in Tallahassee!
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